


Love Will Find Us

by Cecilia1204



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Grief-stricken Rey, Grief/Mourning, Old Age, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reincarnation, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27505750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecilia1204/pseuds/Cecilia1204
Summary: After Exegol, Rey experiences the five stages of grief after Ben's disappearance.  How does one go on when their other half, their soulmate, their dyad, is gone?   The Force has a plan.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There were so many things about TRoS that I hated it's hard to list them all, but one of the most distressing aspects of it was how Rey was never allowed to mourn Ben's loss. I've had this brewing in my head for months. I wanted to see Rey experience the grief of losing her soulmate and how she eventually carries on. 
> 
> But, because I seem physically incapable of writing a sad ending, our lovers will meet again...just not in this lifetime.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

“No, no,” whispered Rey as she slumped on the hard rock in the dismal cave on Exegol, desperately clutching the black undershirt and ignoring the physical pain of her numerous injuries. 

The same undershirt that just moments ago was worn by Ben Solo before he fell back right after giving her the most incredible kiss in all the universe. Her only kiss. A kiss that conveyed more than words could ever say. A kiss of true love.

Only to disappear before her very eyes as if he’d never existed. 

“Ben! Come back. Please,” she begged in a hoarse broken voice. “You can’t save me from death only to die yourself. You just can’t.” The first tear slipped down her cheek, signaling the onslaught of an endless flood. “Ben! I love you. We’re a dyad. You can’t leave me all alone again. _Please_.”

She could hear the sounds of battle overhead but paid it no mind, her only focus was finding Ben. Her love, her soul, who had turned from the dark, thrown aside Kylo Ren to become Ben Solo again and help her defeat Palpatine. Only to die himself.

“NO! You hear me, Ben? You are not dead. I’ll find you again, I swear. I can still feel you in my soul. Palpatine did something. He’s trapped you somewhere and I _will_ find you.”

Looking around, she could see rocks littering the floor, including a huge fissure where Ben had been thrown by Palpatine. Dragging herself upright, every bone hurting and filled with an exhaustion she’d never felt before, she clutched Ben’s clothes as if they were the only lifeline she had to reality. Lifting them to her face, she breathed in his scent, desperate for a sign that Ben was still alive. 

She refused to believe that someone who had resonated with so much _life_ , so much power, so much _force_ , even in his Kylo Ren persona, was gone. It was impossible.

When Rey had first seen Ben, as she instinctively knew he was now, while facing down Palpatine, her heart had filled with so much joy and love. She knew he had chosen her. _Her!_ Her own parents hadn’t chosen her yet Ben had thrown away the power of the dark side, of the First Order, to fight by her side. To be with her.

Knowing that Palpatine was her grandfather didn’t have the impact it should because she was buzzing from the fact that Ben Solo was by her side. They would take down the Emperor together and restore peace to the galaxy. 

Rey knew she would fight tooth and nail to keep Ben with her, even against her friends. 

Only for death to take him from her?

She refused to believe that. Staggering to the fissure, she looked down, hoping against hope that she would find Ben unconscious somewhere. 

When that yielded no result, she proceeded to search the entire cavern, limping as she gritted her teeth against the pain. She would have force-healed herself but she was saving her strength for when she found Ben. He would need help.

Crying continuously, clutching his clothes, Rey searched and searched, only to find no trace of Ben. Overhead, she heard a thunderous explosion followed quickly by tremors that nearly knocked her off her feet again. More boulders were falling again and she knew that this place would cave in at any time.

By now, she accepted that Ben was nowhere in the cavern so she reasoned that the Force had taken him somewhere.

It was time to leave.

Once she was safe, she would continue to look for Ben. She would look for him forever, if that’s what it took.

He was certainly NOT gone.

Making her way to Luke’s X-wing, she caught sight of the Tie fighter that Ben must have arrived in. Heart racing, she detoured to the old spacecraft which dated from the time of the Rebellion, hoping that somehow Ben was inside, unconscious.

Ripping open the entry hatch, she poked her head in. “Ben! Ben are you in here? Please, Ben,” she cried out as loud as she could. There was no answer so Rey climbed in and saw instantly that the craft was empty.

Shoulders slumping at the confirmation that Ben wasn’t inside, she exited the ship and limped to the X-wing, pulling herself inside even as her body protested at the abuse it had suffered.

Flashes of explosions continued overhead, as well as tremors as space craft crashed into the asteroid that was Exegol and Rey knew that there wasn’t much time. As the X-wing powered up, Rey pulled the undershirt on, enveloping herself in a part of Ben. Closing her eyes, she imagined that she was cradled within Ben’s strong arms and it comforted her.

“I’m going to find you, my love,” she promised to herself. “I won’t ever give up.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ajan Kloss was how she’d left it but it wasn’t.

While happy to see her friends safe and well and with the spectre of the Emperor and the First Order now gone, Rey’s mind was solely on one thing: finding Ben.

The news of Leia’s death was a cruel blow and Rey grieved bitterly. For herself, for Leia but mostly for Ben, who now would never get the chance to reunite with his mother once Rey found him. 

Now even more determined to find Ben, Rey threw herself into studying the Jedi texts, looking for clues and meditating with the Force, begging it to help her.

“Rey, can we talk?” asked Finn, interrupting her concentration a couple of weeks after her return.

“Hmm?” replied Rey distractedly, barely looking up. 

“Rey? Please put that down at look at me.”

Frowning, Rey looked up her friend, noting the worried look he gave her. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. That’s what I wanted to ask _you_.”

“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong with me, other than some bruising. You don’t have to worry about me,” insisted Rey, itching to get back to her research.

“But I am worried. We all are. Rey, you’ve changed since you got back. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep – I know, because Rose told me – and you spend all your time reading those books and meditating. What happened on Exegol?”

“Nothing. I beat Palpatine, that’s it,” lied Rey, afraid to tell Finn about Ben. She didn’t want to listen to him be happy about the prospect of Kylo Ren’s death, even if it wasn’t true.

“You’re lying, Rey. I can feel it,” replied Finn.

“Feel it? How?”

“I’m Force sensitive,” Finn admitted. “That’s what I was going to tell you before. Not like you, but I just _know_ you aren’t telling the whole truth.”

Sighing in resignation, Rey nodded. “Fine, I’ll tell you but you aren’t to say a word until I finish. If you do, I’ll stop. Agreed?”

Finn nodded. “Agreed.”

Rey proceeded to tell Finn everything that had happened, including her bond with Ben, glaring at him several times when he threatened to interrupt. His eyes grew progressively larger as the tale proceeded, none more so than when she got to the part of their fight against Palpatine.

“So you see, Ben saved me and now I’m determined to find him,” finished Rey, a part of her relieved to finally share her pain with someone. 

Finn sighed loudly. “I can’t understand how you can forgive Kylo Ren after everything he did, but the fact remains is that he died. Died saving you, which raises him a little in my estimation, but he’s gone.”

Rounding on her friend in fury, Rey hissed. “ _Ben is not dead!_ He’s somewhere in the Force and I will find him. And when I do, you will have to accept him or I’ll leave with him and you’ll never see me again. He chose me and I _will_ choose him.”

Eyes filled with compassion, Finn tried to take her hand, without success. “Oh Rey, I’m so sorry. I really am but you have to accept the truth.”

“No! I can still feel him. In here,” she pounded her heart. “I see him every night in my dreams. He’s trying to reach out to me, I know he is.”

“They’re dreams, Rey. Come on, come to the mess with me and get something to eat. You’ll feel better.”

“Don’t patronise me, Finn,” she growled. “You think I’m delusional. Well, you can think what you like. I know the truth and I’ll never give up. Never.”

“Okay, but you need to keep up your strength if you’re going to keep searching. Come and eat. Please Rey.”

Rey couldn’t remember the last time she ate anything other than a ration bar and saw the wisdom in Finn’s words. 

Nodding, she stood up and followed Finn, planning on eating quickly so she could get back to her searching.

Ben needed her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was rising. 

She could feel it and did nothing to stop it. Didn’t want to.

The darkness.

As the weeks passed with still no sign of Ben and every avenue of research hitting a dead-end, Rey’s anger and despair rose.

She began sleeping in the Falcon because she was waking Rose up each night with her sobs and screams. When she _could_ fall asleep, that is. Rose insisted she didn’t mind even as she begged Rey to tell her what her dreams were about.

Rey refused to tell her that in every dream she watched Ben fade away before her eyes, screaming at him not to leave her. She’d wake shaking and sweat-soaked, face drenched with tears. All she could do was wrap her arms around herself, wearing Ben’s shirt every night and lie for hours until the base awakened.

As her well-meaning friends tried to distract her from her melancholy, Finn still the only one who knew what was wrong with her, she grew increasingly aggressive.

“Leave me the kriff alone!” she growled at Poe, who tried to get her to join them for lunch. When he reached out, she pushed him aside with the Force. 

“Rey! Stop it!” argued Finn as he helped Poe up, winded more from the shock than any injury sustained.

Fleeing their company, Rey ran into the jungle, tears streaming down her face until she reached a clearing. Almost without conscious thought, she flicked on her lightsaber and began furiously hacking at the trees and rocks.

“Damn you, Ben!” 

_Thwack!_

“Why did you have to suddenly become the hero?’

_Slash!_

“You told me I wasn’t alone. You lied!” she sobbed. “You lied to me, Ben!”

_Slice!_

“You’ve left me all alone again,” she cried. “I’ve spent all my life alone and you were my hope. My soulmate! LIAR!”

In frenzy of rage, Rey blindly destroyed everything within sight. She didn’t stop until she fell down exhausted, unaware of the smoking, singed foliage around her.

“I should have taken your hand, Ben,” she wailed into her hands. “Why didn’t I take your hand? Why?”

She lay there for hours, drained even of tears, not caring if there were any dangerous creatures about. 

When she finally returned to the base camp, Finn ran out to her, concern lacing his features. “Rey! Where were you? We were worried when it got dark and you didn’t return.”

Rey shrugged and pushed past him, heading straight for the Falcon. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Finn was about to follow but stopped when she held out her hand, threatening to use the Force if he insisted. Shaking his head, he just watched her walk away.

Taking the x-wing, Rey began flying off world, following hunches on where Ben could be, with no success. Though the First Order had been defeated, there were still remnants remaining that held out hope of a resurgence, resulting in fighting breaking out in different areas which the Resistance had to quell.

Rey took an unnatural joy in shooting down any ships that threatened her. It was the only thing that made her smile, though if she could see herself, she would be horrified. These people had followed the First Order who were responsible for Ben’s disappearance, so she took pleasure in destroying them out of revenge. 

With each joyless quest to find Ben, she grew angrier. At Ben, at the First Order, Palpatine, the universe. People now avoided her around the base, especially after she had ripped into a couple of pilots who were mocking the end of Kylo Ren.

When she was rational, Rey knew they didn’t know about Ben and what he’d done, how he’d turned, because she hadn’t disclosed it to anyone but to hear them laughing and joking about killing the Supreme Leader, she saw red and ignited her saber.

It was only Poe’s voice yelling out that stopped her from doing something she’d regret for the rest of her life. Deactivating the saber, Rey had rushed from the room, feeling every single eye on her.

Word of an insurgent uprising on Irith, one of the outer rim worlds in the Irith region, reached the base so Poe organised a mission to quell it quickly. Despite his misgivings, he included Rey in the mission, knowing she was one of his best pilots despite her unstable mindset.

Gathering everyone who was involved in the mission, Poe laid out the plan.

“We don’t want to be the First Order. We are the Resistance, so we will give them the option to surrender first. All fire will be held until they are given the ultimatum and we’ve received an answer. If they refuse, then we will proceed to subdue them. I hope we can do this with as few casualties as possible, on both sides. There’s been enough blood shed.” He proceeded to look at all his fighters in turn, focusing for an infinitesimal moment longer on Rey before moving on. “Everyone understand the plan?”

Heads nodded all around him. “Once we reach Irith, which is controlled by the Hutt, I will begin the negotiations. The Hutts for the most part have chosen to forsake the First Order but there are always those who think they know better. We will rendezvous above Irith and await my orders.” Clapping his hands, ever the fighter pilot despite becoming the nominal leader of the Resistance since Leia’s death, Poe yelled. “Let’s do this!”

There were whoops and cheers as everyone headed to their ships. Rey had wanted to fly the Falcon but Poe believed she was better utilised on the x-wing, allowing Finn to fly with Chewie, who would pilot the Falcon.

Rey wanted to argue but knew she was somewhat on probation for her recent behaviour so she bit her lip and had agreed without another word. The journey gave her a great deal of time to feel her anger build over the way Poe was treating her.

That’s all she seemed to feel lately.

She was looking forward to the skirmish and a part of her hoped that the insurgents would decide to fight. Rey should have felt guilty at the thought, but couldn’t. There was too much rage roiling inside her begging to be released.

As planned, Rey joined the armada above Irith, listening as Poe spoke to the leader of the insurgents, outlining the terms of their surrender. They were belligerent, convinced that the First Order would rise again and the Resistance would be destroyed.

With each word, Rey’s rage intensified. They were part of the reason that Ben was gone. The reason he had to sacrifice himself for her. They had followed Snoke and Palpatine, who had ruined Ben’s life. Who had created Kylo Ren. 

Why should they get a second chance when Ben hadn’t? Why should they remain alive when Ben may not be, as much as she wanted to deny it? 

With every parsec, the darkness rose inside Rey until the words between Poe and the leader were drowned out. As she watched, ships rose from the planet, supposedly carrying the leader who felt he needed a stronger bargaining position.

Everything she’d been feeling since that day on Exegol finally snapped within Rey, and without warning, launched her x-wing towards the insurgent ship and fired her weapons.

“REY! REY! What are you doing?” screamed Poe over the commlink. “Stand down, Rey!”

Ignoring her leader, Rey avoided the return fire that the ships had begun deploying, harnessing her rage and the Force to unerringly guide her fire to the lead ship, destroying it within seconds.

Unsurprisingly, the rest of the insurgent fleet returned fire and before anyone could make sense of it, a full-blown fire fight had erupted.

Rey took a sick pleasure from every single kill she made, uncaring that Poe was still screaming at her.

They deserved to die!

They deserved it. Ben didn’t.

They would pay for what they did to Ben.

The Resistance armada was the superior force and it didn’t take long before the insurgents were defeated, a few stragglers returning back on-planet, followed by Resistance ships that would attempt to round up the rest and quell it for good.

Rey made to follow until Poe’s voice sounded over the commlink, a deadly tone she’d never heard before stopping her.

“Rey, if you follow those ships, I will order you blown out of the sky,” warned Poe. “I am not joking. You have deliberately gone against orders and I will seriously have to consider a court-martial when we return to Ajan Kloss.”

Finn’s voice screamed over Poe’s. “Rey! What were you thinking? This isn’t you? This isn’t the Rey we know and love. You’re turning to the dark side! Please Rey, stop this.” His voice quivered at the end, deep with sorrow. For her.

_“Little One. Ben would not want this,”_ called out Chewie in Shryiiwook. _“Leia and Han would not want this. Little One is in pain. I am in pain too.”_

Their voices cut through the haze of darkness that had enveloped Rey.

“Oh maker! What have I done?” she cried out. “Ben! Ben help me!”

The horror of her actions felt like a punch to her body and only the straps kept her from folding over in agony.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely. “I’m sorry.”

Without another word, she turned the x-wing and flew off, despite the cries of her friends to stop.

There was only one place where her last hope for Ben was. Her last hope to not succumb to the pain, rage and grief of losing Ben.

Ahch To

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The island grew in size from the tiny dot in the stormy grey seas as the x-wing drew closer.

The journey had taken several stops to refuel, using the Force to compel the weak-minded to let her have the fuel she required and to erase all memory of her. She knew Finn would be looking for her and as much as she loved her friend, Rey needed to be away from him. From all of them.

From the pitying looks.

From the wary looks.

From the looks of confusion and fear.

From all of it.

The Resistance had felt like home but since Ben’s disappearance and her return, she felt like an outsider.

As she had most of her life.

It was only in those few precious moments with Ben that she’d felt like she had a home.

Much of the journey to Ahch To had felt numb. She’d had a taste of the dark side and a part of her had liked it. She remembered the vision she’d had on the wreck of the Death Star and wondered if it had been prophetic after all.

Then she remembered the way Ben had kissed her before giving her the most beautiful, luminous smile she knew she would ever see. A look full of love, joy and hope. Everything the dark side was not. In those few precious moments, Rey had seen who she wanted to be. Who Ben really was.

Shame had engulfed her.

Ben had forsaken that life. For her. She owed it to him not to give in to the darkness.

Ahch To was her last hope of finding Ben. It was a nexus in the Force. Untold power, both light and dark, flowed through that island. It was why the Jedi Temple had been built there millennia ago.

Surely, if there was a way to bring Ben back, the answer would lie on the island that Luke had chosen to exile himself on.

With no flat land on the small island, Rey used the Force to manoeuver the x-wing onto the tiny strip of sand on the island’s only beach. As soon as the hatch opened, Rey breathed in the salty tang of the sea and heard the calls of the island’s indigenous bird life, the porgs.

Hopping out, she looked up the steep slopes that she knew led to the temple, emotions roiling. A part of her expected Luke Skywalker to appear, grumpily asking what she’d done with his ship before turning back and ignoring her.

The other part felt a lingering anger and resentment over Luke’s treatment of Ben, remembering the last time she’d seen him alive was the night she’d flown to Ben on the Supremacy, cowering before her after being confronted with the truth of what he’d done, how he’d been that final push in Ben becoming Kylo Ren. 

Sighing deeply, she began her climb up the steep, rocky steps until she came to the huts. A couple of locals, the Lanai, were busily working away, clad in their white headscarves. 

One looked up, speaking in her language while pointing at Rey. It didn’t sound like they were overjoyed to see her either. 

“Hello,” called out Rey cautiously, raising her hands in a gesture of peace. “I’m not here to cause trouble, I promise. I’m just here to find some answers.”

Whether they understood her or not, they quickly walked away, leaving her alone amongst the empty huts. 

Turning towards the hut where she and Ben had first touched, only to be interrupted by Luke, she couldn’t help the well of tears that threatened to choke her. Staggering blindly as she clutched at her heart, she entered the hut, which had been restored by the Lanai.

It looked as if nothing momentous had ever happened in here. As if this hut wasn’t the place where she had fallen completely and forever in love. Where she and Ben had promised the other they would never be alone.

“But I _am_ ,” sobbed Rey, sinking down beside the firepit. “You left me alone, Ben. You left me alone again.”

Uncaring of the hard floor, Rey lay down, curled in a foetal position, wishing with everything in her that she was still sitting across a fire from Ben, gazing into his warm, expressive brown eyes. She was certain that she was the only person who had ever seen the sheer beauty of those eyes, brimming with so much emotion that he couldn’t hide, necessitating the use of that stupid mask. 

Eyes that told her that he loved her, even as he wasn’t ready to let Kylo Ren go yet. If only she’d recognised it for what it was then. Her decisions may have been completely different.

Rey lay there for hours until she fell into an exhausted sleep, her dreams full of her Ben. Maybe it was being on the island, but she dreamt that they were sitting around the fire, though this time, Luke hadn’t interrupted. Instead, Ben smiled his beautiful smile before taking her in his arms and kissing her like she was the most precious thing in the universe. 

In her dream, Rey was incandescently happy in her soulmate’s arms and a bright future ahead. Until it turned. Just as had happened in reality, Ben’s smile faded as he fell back, lost to her forever. Again.

As she’d fallen asleep, Rey woke up sobbing.

It was getting harder and harder to keep hoping with each passing day. The only thing that kept her going was remembering Leia’s words about hope and her own determination to find Ben. 

Rey’s stomach growled loudly and she realised she hadn’t eaten for over a day. Growing up, she was used to going days without food but her time in the Resistance had accustomed her to eating regularly, even if she hadn’t had an appetite since Ben’s loss. Groaning, she realised she’d have to fish in order to eat and not feeling being bothered. Maybe there were emergency rations in the x-wing.

Opening the hut’s door, she stopped short when she found a basket on the floor. Curiously, she lifted the covering, gasping as she saw the food it contained. There was bread and cooked fish, as well as some sort of vegetables.

The Lanai had left her food despite their dislike of her. Tears sprang to her eyes at this show of kindness. Rey looked around to see if there was anyone she could personally thank but there was no one.

Sitting on a bench outside the hut, Rey ate her food as she decided what she would do first. It was either go up to the temple or search Luke’s hut to see if he had left anything that could aid her in finding Ben.

Luke’s hut was right there so she decided to search it first. During her previous time on Ahch To she had never been inside the hut and was curious to see what she would find. 

Disappointingly, it looked as spartan and monk-like as Luke had been. Heading to the small shelf of books, she eagerly grabbed each one, hoping they were more texts that would give her a clue. Another shelf had a handful of items that didn’t look of any interest except for one object.

Picking it up, Rey gazed at what looked to be a type of compass. Maybe this was something useful. Quickly scanning the rest of the shelf, she spotted a small black box, picking it up and opening it. It contained what looked like writing implements and a small jar. Curious, she opened the stopper and poked her finger in, instantly covering it with a black substance. Grimacing, she rubbed her finger on the edge of the bedcoverings, noting how the black substance was messy. She decided to take it even though she didn’t know how to write. There was just something about it that called to her.

Other than the books and the compass, there was nothing else of interest in Luke’s hut, so she returned to her own and deposited her haul to study later.

Right now, she was going up to the Jedi Temple to meditate and beg the Force to help her find Ben.

Ignoring the curious porgs, she climbed the steep rocky steps, feeling the power of the Force that flowed throughout the whole island. Reaching the top, she stepped into the gloomy interior of the temple. 

Sitting cross legged in the centre of the mosaic of the Prime Jedi, Rey closed her eyes and began meditating.

“Be with me.”

“Be with me.”

“Please, let me find Ben. I will do whatever you call me do with my life in exchange. You chose to make us a dyad in the Force. You can’t have meant for one to die, leaving the other. I know Ben is somewhere out there. Please, give me a sign of how to bring him back.”

Hours passed, the sun setting, allowing a bright ray of golden light to shine through the fissure in the cave that led to what she called ‘Luke’s rock’.

Rey grew weary but determined as her body began shaking from sitting in the same position for so long, until she fell sideways in exhaustion. She didn’t care that the tiles were cold and hard. She fell asleep right there.

The first rays of morning light filtering into the temple woke her, Rey groaning as her body paid the price for what she had put it through the previous day. 

In age, she was only nineteen, but she felt ancient. Her hope was fading, the fissure in her heart growing with each day without Ben. 

Shaking her head, she had one more place to visit on the island. 

Her weary body made its way down to the rocky, storm-battered outcrop which housed the entrance to that other cave. The cave that she had hoped would tell her who her parents were, instead only finding herself. A nobody, as Ben had told her. 

Pushing aside any thought of Palpatine, Rey stood on the lip of the hole, preparing to jump in. Despite what the emperor had said, she was a nobody. She’d rather be a nobody than a Palpatine.

The water was bone-jarringly cold and Rey couldn’t help the sharp gasp as her body was submerged. Teeth chattering, she pulled herself out and faced the opaque mirror wall.

“Show me Ben!” she called out.

Nothing.

“Tell me where Ben is. Tell me how to get him back. I will do anything. Anything.”

The wall remained silent.

“TELL ME!” she yelled. “Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me…” she screamed continuously until she grew hoarse. _“Tell me…”_

Slumped on the ground, she failed to see the pale blue figure watching her with pity in his eyes.

“You won’t find him here, Rey.”

Gasping, she looked up, eyes widening as spied Force-ghost Luke sitting on boulder. Scrambling to her feet, her heart leapt with hope.

“Then where, Luke?” she begged. “Tell me where I can find him. How I can bring him back.”

Luke sighed and gave her a sad smile. “I’m afraid, Rey, that Ben is no longer living. At least not on this plane.”

“No!” cried Rey wretchedly. “You’re lying. You’re still bitter. I don’t believe you.”

Shaking his head, Luke continued. “It’s true, Rey. You know it is.”

“How can that be?” sobbed Rey. “We were one in the Force. A dyad. Two halves of a whole. How could the Force take him?”

“You are still a dyad. Just because he is gone doesn’t mean your bond has ended. You still feel it in your soul.”

“But he’s not here!” wailed Rey, tears dripping into her tunic. “Is he with you? Is he a force-ghost? Why won’t he come to me like you?”

“Ben didn’t become a force-ghost. The Force has another purpose for him. I can’t say what that purpose is, because I don’t know.”

“Can I go find him? Bring him back?” she asked hopefully. “I’ll do anything, suffer anything, to have him back with me.”

“No, that’s not possible, Rey. Not unless you were to die. And I don’t believe that is the Force’s plan for you.”

“But Ben dying is?” she cried bitterly. “Why would it bring us together, only to rip us apart? What purpose does that serve? So that I’m left here without my other half to wander the galaxy alone.”

“You’re not alone.”

_“YES, I AM!”_ she yelled. “I’m always alone.” Slumping back, she covered her face. “I would have been better off if I’d never met Ben. At least then I wouldn’t know what I’ve lost. The Force is cruel and I don’t want it anymore.” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t want it.”

Reaching out, Luke’s hand hovered over her trembling figure. “You don’t mean that, Rey. I know you don’t. And the fact that Ben isn’t a Force-ghost tells me that there is a higher purpose for the two of you. Ben sacrificed himself for his soulmate, for you. The Force will reward him for that somehow.”

“What do I do without him?” sobbed Rey brokenly. “I feel like I’m missing half of myself. I can’t breathe from the pain of missing Ben. How long must I suffer? Haven’t I suffered enough?” 

“No one is ever really gone, Rey. You will meet again. I don’t know when or where, but I know a dyad’s bond is never truly broken.”

“And until then?” whispered Rey. 

“You carry on. You honour Ben’s memory by living your life, for as long as that is. Find your purpose. Make his sacrifice worth it.”

“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I want to.”

“You can and you will, Rey. In my hut there is a calligraphy set. It belonged to Ben. He never admitted it but he enjoyed reproducing the texts by hand. An ancient, lost art. He was very good at it but he kept it hidden because he was afraid of others, of me, making fun of his hobby. I wouldn’t have, you know. I was hard on him, too, too hard, but I would not have mocked something that helped him escape from the pressures on him. It is my fault he could never open up to me. I take full responsibility for failing my nephew.”

Luke looked truly sorrowful as he was briefly lost in his memories. 

“Thank you for bringing him back, Rey, even if it was for far too short a time. Take the set. He would want you to have it. It was his most prized possession.” Rey nodded. “There is a compass there too. It’s powered by the Force. Concentrate on it and it will lead you to where ever you need to go.”

Resting her head on her knees, Rey cried quietly, not knowing how she was to carry on now that all hope of finding Ben was gone.

“I must leave now, Rey,” Luke’s voice interrupted her grief. “Please don’t give up. May the Force be with you.”

Without looking up, Rey sensed that Luke was gone, leaving her alone in the dark cave, her heart shattered into a million pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns to accept Ben's loss and the Force finally reveals its plan to reunite the two soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part to the story where Rey learns to accept her loss and move on. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy their reunion. I think Rey deserved it after everything

Rey would never know how she made it back to her hut when she looked back on this time in her life.

Nor how long she lay on the bunk, not eating or drinking. 

All she wanted was to sleep. Sleep allowed her to be with Ben in her dreams. She resented being awake. Ben was gone in the real world and she didn’t want to be there.

Time passed quicker when she was asleep.

The faster time passed, the sooner she might be with Ben, where ever he was.

The only time she got up was to relieve herself but as the days wore on, with nothing going in, even that was few and far between. When she did get up, she felt as exhausted as if she’d been sparring for hours even though she was only sleeping.

As soon as she would wake, she’d try to get back to sleep. Back to Ben.

During her lucid moments, she could hear the Lanai outside her hut, muttering in their language. She knew they left food for her but she didn’t touch it. 

She didn’t want food.

She didn’t want anything.

She just wanted Ben.

And he was gone.

What was the point of any of it? The Force? The Dyad? 

If it hadn’t kept Ben with her, it was all useless.

With each day that passed, and Rey had lost all track of how long she’d been there, her body grew weaker but her dreams became sharper, clearer.

Rey could _feel_ Ben with her. Feel his arms around her as he held her and whispered how much he loved her. Feel his lips on hers, kissing her passionately, promising he’d never leave her.

When she opened her eyes, she could _see_ him sitting beside her, smiling his beautiful smile.

“Ben!” she would call out joyously, reaching out to touch him, only to grab thin air. “ _Noooo!”_

A small, lucid part of her brain knew she was fading but she welcomed it, knowing it meant she would be reunited with her soulmate.

_CRASH!_

The deafening sound of her door being kicked in, hinges and all, woke Rey from her stupor, her bleary eyes taking in the mountainous figure standing in her doorway.

_“Little One! What have you done?”_ cried Chewbacca in dismay.

“Chewie. Wh-what are you doing here?” asked Rey, voice faint and reedy.

_“Came looking for you. And not a parsec too soon,”_ grunted Chewie, reaching out and touching her forehead. 

“Leave me be, Chewie,” groaned Rey, closing her eyes.

_“Dying will not bring Ben back.”_

“But I will be with him again,” argued Rey tiredly. “Go home.”

_“I am, but you are coming with me,”_ growled Chewie, picking her up as if she weighed nothing, which to him, she probably did.

“No, stop, Chewie!” cried Rey. “I don’t want to go back to the base.”

_“Not the base. Home. Kashyyyk.”_ Ignoring her protests, he made to leave the hut.

“Wait! That bag. Please, I need it,” she pointed to the bag that held the compass and Ben’s calligraphy set. It was the only thing she had of Ben, other than his clothes which she had been wearing since she arrived on the island, even if they were huge on her. She didn’t care. It felt like Ben was holding her.

With a grunt, Chewie picked up the bag and handed the precious items to Rey, who held them protectively against her chest, tearless sobs racking her weakened body.

_“You are too skinny, Little One. You wouldn’t touch the insides of a rathtar,”_ scolded Chewie as he made his way down the mountainside, the wide eyes of the Lanai in the area following them.

In no time, Chewie was carrying her up the ramp to the Falcon, heading straight to the Captain’s quarters and gently depositing her on the bed. _“I will bring food. And you will eat.”_

Rey nodded dispiritedly. It was hard to argue with a Wookie.

He returned with a bowl of soup and bread. _“When did you eat last?”_

“I can’t remember,” shrugged Rey. “Not hungry.”

_“I stay here until to finish, Little One,”_ he growled sternly. 

Despite her melancholy, she felt a warmth at the Wookie’s worry and care. Almost like a father. Or an uncle.

Chewie was her last living link to Ben. And Han. And Leia. He had lost so much as well. More even. He had spent years as the cherished best friend of Han Solo, had been there when Ben was born, had watched Leia pass into the Force.

“I-I’m sorry, Chewie,” she stammered, looking at him with sorrow. “I’m being selfish, I know. You’ve lost more than me and yet you’re here looking after me.” A big, fat tear fell down her cheek, quickly followed by another, then another.

_“Yes, I hurt. I have lost my family, too. I cannot watch you die, too,”_ he replied mournfully. _“We go to Kashyyyk. You will cry for Ben for as long as you need but you will eat. And then you go on. For Ben.”_

With that he left the room, confident she would finish her meal, which she did. Leaving the bowl on the floor, Rey lay back hugging herself, imagining it was Ben holding her, falling asleep to the motion of the Falcon taking off into the atmosphere, leaving Ahch To behind. Perhaps forever.

She slept for most of the journey to Kashyyyk, only waking to eat and relieve herself. Her dreams were full of Ben and most times she woke up crying.

When Chewie said they would be arriving shortly, Rey roused herself enough to make her way to the cockpit in order to get her first glimpse of the planet. Like Takodana, the planet was covered in towering trees, taller than any building she’d ever seen. 

“I thought I hadn’t seen so much green after Takodana and Ajan Kloss, but now I can really say it about Kashyyyk.” As Chewie drew closer, she could see that dwellings were built in amongst the trees, the trunks of which were so huge they could hold multiple wooden huts on one tree, on different levels. Wooden bridges criss-crossed between trees, linking huts together. Upon landing, Rey realised the size of the dwellings. They were no mere tree houses. They were large enough to house whole families of Wookies.

“Wow, this amazing, Chewie,” breathed Rey, feeling something other than numbness in who knew how long.

_“I have not been home for a very long time_ ,” said Chewie, a hint of anticipation in his voice. _“Many of our kind were killed, our villages destroyed, when the Empire rose. I lost many kin.”_

And just like that, Rey’s brief sense of awe was wiped out with the realisation that she was the blood of the evil monster who did that to Chewie and his family. 

She hated him!

Rey wished Palpatine was alive just so she could kill him again. Wreak vengeance on him, make him suffer as he had many so many suffer. 

For Chewie

For Ben

For herself.

Unable to look at Chewie, knowing that she was related to such evil, Rey withdrew back into herself. She should say something. Give him a chance to rid himself of her tainted presence. 

He should have just left her to die on Ahch To. She didn’t deserve his kindness.

Curling herself into a ball on the seat, she didn’t look up when Chewie lowered the ramp and made his way out. Didn’t listen to the conversation he had with his kin.

She was back in the darkness.

_“Come. I’ll will take you to your hut,”_ growled Chewie, lifting her in his arms without asking her opinion. Not that Rey cared. Caring took too much energy.

Burying her face in his fur, she didn’t see the curious faces of the other Wookies as Chewie carried her up a bridge, making his way up the levels of the tree until he entered a large dwelling. Rey couldn’t face the beings that had suffered so much by the hand of her blood relative.

Chewie carried her straight into a bedroom and lay her down on pallet of soft furs. _“This is your room. You will get better, Little One. I will not lose anyone else.”_

The un-deserved kindness in his voice was too much. Rey curled into herself and sobbed. Her heart was completely broken and she didn’t know if it could ever be mended. She didn’t believe it could.

Rey could see endless years in front of her, alone and forever missing her Ben. She cried and cried, great gulping sobs that seemed to swallow her whole. The pain was unbearable. No one had ever told her heartbreak was physical, as well as emotional, pain.

Sheer exhaustion led her to fall into a restless sleep, tears continuing to fall even in her slumber.

Looking back, Rey would never really know how long she lived, or rather existed, in that state of being. She basically slept, cried, ate a little of what was brought to her and slept again. 

Gradually, she emerged from the black state of her depression and became more aware of the world around her. Her sorrow was great and she still missed Ben with every fibre of her being but she no longer wished the Force would take her so she could join him.

Her gradual ascent was not linear. Some days were better than others. One day she would feel almost normal and the next she could barely raise her head, despair filling her soul.

These dark days became less and less, in part due to the friendship she’d found with Chewie’s kin, Jikkata. From the beginning, the graceful Wookie was the one who came in and fed her, even when Rey was not really lucid.

As Rey recovered, Jikkata showed her around the village, introducing her to the rest of the clan.

_“Many believed that our entire species was exterminated by the Emperor during the Clone Wars but a number of us survived, including Chewbacca,”_ explained Jikkata as they sat on the balcony of the hut, enjoying the filtered sunlight and watching other Wookies go about their business. _“I was only a young pup at the time.”_

Once again, Rey’s stomach sank at the mention of Palpatine. So much hurt had been caused by him. She wished she could expunge everything that connected her to the vile creature. “How? I thought Chewbacca was the only Wookie left. Not that I met many other kinds of life-forms growing up on Jakku, except the few times traders showed up.”

_“We dwell in the trees but we also have secret hiding places in the ground where we can disappear if necessary. When the Stormtroopers arrived, all the females and young were hidden. Many of our males, including my father, were either killed or taken as slaves to work for the Empire. Chewbacca was one of those. Some managed to escape and hide with us, others slipped their captor’s chains and returned to Kashyyyk. We are still much decimated, and don’t know if we will ever recover our numbers to what it was but we have survived, despite all we have lost.”_ Jikkata looked directly at Rey. _“I know you have suffered a great loss. I know it feels like you cannot go on but you will. Every day will get easier. You will not be the same but different is not always bad.”_

A lone tear fell down Rey’s cheek as she listened to Jikkata’s tale and felt ashamed at succumbing to her grief in the way she had. The Wookies had suffered so much but they had slowly rebuilt.

“The Emperor was m-my g-grandfather,” admitted Rey in shame. “I don’t deserve your kindness.”

The Wookie looked at her. _“Did you hurt anyone on his orders?”_

Rey shook her head. “No! I never even knew we were related until the near end, when…when he tried to kill me…and Ben.”

_“Then you share none of his guilt,”_ insisted Jikkata. _“You are his victim, as the rest of us are.”_

That day marked a change in Rey.

She would never be whole, would miss Ben until the day she died, but she would live for him. Make Ben proud of her somehow.

And hope that one day she would be with him again, where ever that was.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_Many standard years later…_

Emerging from her morning meditation, Rey groaned lightly as her old bones protested having been locked into the same position for so long.

At 70, and in the last few years, Rey had begun feeling every bit of her age. Having lost some of her closest friends to old age had been draining on her soul. Or what was left of her soul. 

When she had emerged from her intense depression and had finally accepted that Ben was truly gone, at least in this life, she had believed that the feeling of emptiness, of missing half of herself would fade, or at least ease over the years.

It hadn’t.

She still missed Ben almost viscerally. Losing one’s soulmate, their other half, was not something one recovered from.

All Rey could do was learn to live with it.

And she had. At least she tried to.

Faint voices drifted up the hill to where she stood beside the meditation rock. The rock that sat on the cliff outside the Jedi Temple which gave her a clear view of most of Ahch To. 

Her home for most of her life now.

Rey had spent nearly a year on Kashyyyk. She grew to love the Wookies and living there had helped soothe her soul. 

She had contacted Finn and apologised for her actions on Irith. He had begged her to go back to Ajan Kloss but Rey refused. She was not ready to leave Kashyyyk. She was even less ready to return to the Resistance and face their censure. After assuring Finn that she was safe, and she _would_ see him again, she had cut off the comm.

Not knowing what she was going to do with the rest of her life, not having used the Force since Irith, Rey began taking short trips away from Kashyyyk on the Falcon, visiting nearby worlds.

It was on one of these trips that she came across another force user, as clueless as she had been. A young Twi’lek who was having a tantrum, nearby objects levitating in the air. Her mother had looked resigned, as if this was a common occurrence.

Not ready to make her presence known, Rey watched the pair, an idea growing in her mind. Over the course of that year, she came across a couple more force sensitives, noting how none of them seemed to have control of their powers. 

From those encounters was borne her training academy for Force users on Ahch To. She refused to call it a Jedi academy though she did use Jedi techniques. Rey focused on teaching her students how to harness and control their powers. She made it a focus to teach them that they needed to have a balance between the light and the dark, that one could not exist without the other. 

One of the main tenets she taught them was that attachments, be it love, friendship, lust, were a vital part of all beings. There was no shame in feeling it – if anything, it made them stronger. Negative emotions were as valid as positive ones. It was what they did with these emotions that counted.

It was all about balance.

Ahch To had housed numerous students over the last fifty years, some choosing to stay to become teachers of the next group. The Lanai had accepted the changes and had helped build extra huts. There were never huge numbers on the island and they were free to leave at any time.

For Rey, the students became the children she would never have, even if they were adults. She loved each and every one and knew that Ben would have approved of what she had made of her life without him.

Even Finn had spent time on the island, learning from her. He visited at least once a year, bring his eventual family with him. 

Another visitor Rey spent a lot of time with was Lando Calrissian. He was able to fill in much of Ben’s history that she never had the chance to learn from the man himself. Between he and Chewie, who had stayed on Kashyyyk, Rey had gotten a full picture of the man she loved and lost too soon.

It made her feel closer to Ben to imagine him as a little boy running around naked, calling for his uncles. No one saw the tears she cried for the family she and Ben never had the chance to have.

To everyone she knew, Rey was the cheery, wise but powerful Master of the Academy. In private, she never stopped grieving her lost love.

Looking back, Rey could be satisfied with the life she had lived, knowing Ben would be proud of her even if she was never truly happy. Her happiness had died with her soulmate. There were moments of joy, of laughter, but her soul never healed.

Now, she was feeling more and more tired. She knew she was old now but she could feel her life force fading.

And a part of her welcomed it. 

Rey was ready to be with Ben again. The Force would not be so cruel as to keep them apart for eternity.

Sighing, she began making her way down the endless steps. Though she had kept fit all her life, her body was protesting against the physical challenges that came with living on the hilly island.

“Master Rey!”

One of her first students, and now her second-in-command at the Academy, Temiri, jogged up the steps to meet her, taking her elbow to help her down. 

“I’m fine, Temiri,” protested Rey. “I’ve been going up and down these steps for decades, young man.”

Temiri laughed and shook his head. “Not that young anymore, Master.”

“Still younger than me,” she chuckled. “Did you need me for anything?”

“No, I just thought I’d help you down. Dara and Darien are going home for a while. They are homesick,” he informed her, giving her a run-down on some of the current students. He’d been taking on more and more of the work of running the Academy over the last few months. Rey knew the Academy would be in good hands when she was gone.

“Good, good,” nodded Rey. “They are still young and need to be with their families. They will return when they are ready.” She stopped at the bottom of the steps and swayed slightly, feeling exhausted.

Temiri frowned and steadied her. “Are you well, Master? Shall I get the med-droid?”

Waving him off, Rey shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Just tired. Age, you know?” 

“You should have a rest.”

“Yes, I think I will,” agreed Rey. “I will come and see how things are going later.”

“Everything is under control, Master. I will get one of the students to bring you some food later.”

“Thank you, Temiri.” With that walked to her hut, closing the door behind her.

Over the years, she had made it her little haven, filled with trinkets and items that had meaning for her.

Laying down on her bed, her bedside table held her most treasured item – Ben’s calligraphy set. The only thing of his she had. Taking the worn case in her hand, the hide covering nearly gone after all these years, she held it close to her heart as she usually did.

“I’m tired, Ben,” she whispered. “I’m tired of missing you. I’m tired of feeling like half of me is missing. I’m ready to be with you again. Are you waiting for me?”

Closing her eyes, Rey felt a warmth brush over her body and she smiled. Lifting the case, she kissed it. 

Picturing Ben’s face the last time she saw him, gazing at her with so much love in those beautiful eyes, his smile illuminating his face, Rey smiled beatifically. 

“I’ll see you soon, my love.”

Feeling a peace flood through her, Rey fell into a deep sleep.

A sleep she never woke from.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_A long time in the future, in a galaxy far, far away…_

Today was the day.

Rey was finally beginning her first day of university. Her parents, Jyn and Cassian, had driven her to her dorm room which she was sharing with a lovely girl named Rose, who she just knew would be a life-long friend, and had helped her move in a couple of days ago.

Engulfed in her father’s arms, then her mother’s, they had entreated her to call them

if she needed anything.

“I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night, you call, alright?” insisted Cassian.

Rolling her eyes, Rey nodded. “Sure, Dad. I’ll be fine but I’ll call you if I need you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” she grinned as her father hugged her tightly, his eyes suspiciously bright. 

“Make sure you eat properly,” urged Jyn, brushing back her daughter’s hair. 

“Yes, mum,” sighed Rey.

In truth, she was going to miss seeing her parents every day but she was only a couple of hours away and it was a train ride home if necessary. They were a close family, Rey always knowing she was the adored only child of the Andors. 

Her childhood had been happy and carefree. Idyllic. Growing up in the suburbs, she had had space to play and run around in, sleep over’s with friends and never wanting for anything. 

Now she was embarking on her university years, working towards an Engineering degree. She hadn’t decided what her career path was going to be yet. She had a fascination with aircraft and aeronautical engineering was a distinct option. 

Rey had time to decide. Her first class was on Monday and she was excited for it. Her first taste of independence. She had the best of both worlds. Becoming independent but knowing she had the safety net of her parents’ care to fall back on if it was needed.

After they left, misty eyes all around, Rey set to organising her room. It was generous for a shared dorm: two beds, a wardrobe and chest of drawers each as well a desk with shelves. The room even had a kitchenette and fridge, allowing the occupants to make meals rather than having to buy food or eat in the university’s food hall every day.

As she was placing her text books on the shelves, Rose arrived, squealing when she saw Rey was already there. They had met at orientation and had clicked, which was a relief as Rey didn’t want to be sharing with someone she disliked.

“Rey! Omg, how exciting! We’re finally here,” cried Rose as she hugged her.

“I know! It feels so grown up,” giggled Rey.

“Tell me about it,” replied Rose. A brief knock on the door and Rose’s parents came in, carrying Rose’s things.

Having greeted them, they got Rose settled and Rey sat flicking through her social media as Rose saw her parents off.

“What do we do for our first night?” asked Rose when she returned.

“Let’s go out to eat,” suggested Rey. “Get to know the area.”

“Sounds great.”

Two days later, Rey had a funny feeling in her stomach as she got ready to go to her first class. 

Something told her today would be a momentous day. She didn’t know how or what but she couldn’t shake the feeling. It wasn’t an ominous sensation at all, rather, a prescient feeling that her life would change.

All her life, Rey had had certain ‘feelings’ about things. A sort of ‘intuition’ that served to warn her about some people and drew her to others. Like meeting Rose. She just ‘knew’ that Rose was meant to be in her life.

And there was a sense that she was waiting for something. Or someone. 

Finishing up tying the last bun in the row of three she often like to wear her hair in, Rey shrugged. It was probably just the start of this new stage of her life that was making her feel like this. 

Whatever it was, she would know when it happened.

Grabbing her bag, having packed everything she needed last night, she waved at Rose, who’s class started later. 

“I’m off. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck, Rey! Hope it’s what you expect,” replied Rose sleepily.

“You too, Rose. See you this afternoon so we can give our first impressions of university life.” With a last wave, Rey left the room and joined the exodus of other students heading to their first day of classes for this semester.

Having already scoped out the lay of the university, Rey confidently walked to her first class, happily chatting with a couple of other students walking in her direction.

Entering the room, Rey grinned excitedly as she took in the modern layout of the class. Contrary to the traditional style of university classrooms of single desks facing the lecturer, this one had tables with six chairs, all with a screen at one end which would reflect the large screen at the front of the room where the teacher was. Group work was a big part of the uni’s philosophy, wanting students to become accustomed to working collaboratively as would likely be required in their chosen careers.

There were already some classmates in the room sitting at tables, all showing signs of nerves, some of shyness. 

Scoping out the tables, Rey walked to one that had another girl sitting alone. Choosing a chair that faced the front, she sat down and smiled at the other occupant. “Hi, I’m Rey,” she introduced herself.

“Hi, Rey. I’m Jannah. Nice to meet you. Are you as nervous as I am?” 

Rey nodded. “Nice to meet you too. I sure am, but I’m super excited as well.”

“I hope our teacher is good. My older brother is in his final year and told me Professor Holdo is an awesome teacher,” said Jannah.

“Oh, good,” sighed Rey in relief. 

The room gradually filled, her table filling up until the only chair remaining was the one next to her.

Professor Holdo entered the room, a tall, lithe woman with an amazing head of lilac hair. Rey decided she wanted to be like her when she grew up.

With only moments before the class was due to begin, a large body sat down in the seat beside her. Professor Holdo had begun speaking so Rey only mumbled a ‘hi’ at the newcomer without really looking at them, not wanting to miss anything the Professor said.

That feeling she’d had earlier came back even stronger and she took a glimpse at her classmate.

He was looking at the Professor, so the impression she got was of lush dark hair, a long face, large hands and a tall body clad in the typical student uniform of jeans and dark t-shirt.

‘Large’ was the first impression she got. He seemed to dwarf the chair he sat on.

Her stomach was doing somersaults for some reason, every nerve ending tingling, and she had to force her concentration back to Professor Holdo’s words. 

Finally, the class ended, Rey having an hour break until her next class, so she didn’t rush to get away.

Instead, she turned to her classmate, who turned towards her at the same time and her breath caught in her chest.

He was beautiful. 

As he looked back at her, he seemed to freeze, his amber coloured eyes widening as he took her in. 

That feeling was screaming at her now and somehow, she _knew_ him, even though they’d never met before. She would have remembered meeting this boy.

“Hi,” she breathed, unable to speak properly.

His plump, kissable mouth opened as if in shock and he squeaked out a ‘hi’ in response.

The room shrunk down to only the two of them.

Extending her hand out to him, she watched as he reached out to her, as if in slow motion.

As her skin touched his, the room spun around them, the two of them the centre of the storm.

Memories of things she knew she hadn’t experienced bombarded her.

_A desert planet._

_A stark, metal home._

_A round little orange and white robot._

_Flying in a spaceship with companions that included a huge, furry being._

_A black-clad man in a mask._

_That man being unmasked to reveal a face of beauty and conflict._

_Fighting this man with swords made of light._

_Learning to control a strange power she had._

_A connection forged with this man._

_Hate turning to love._

_Fighting together against red-clad people in a throne room._

_Heartbreak when he chooses the wrong path._

_Running from him and her feelings._

_Fighting her love on the storm-swept remains of a destroyed space station._

_Piercing his body with her light sword._

_Confronting an evil emperor after learning she was related to him._

_Elation when her love appeared, his darkness thrown off, to stand with her._

_Waking to find the emperor gone and in the arms of her love._

_Kissing him and feeling the greatest sense of joy and love._

_Watching him disappear before her eyes._

_The soul-destroying grief she felt._

_The denial._

_The anger._

_The bargaining._

_The depression._

_The acceptance._

_Her last moments in that life as she passed, hoping to meet him again._

She remembered. 

She remembered it all.

“Ben!” she gasped, tears springing from her eyes.

“Rey!” he croaked, crying just as hard.

Gripping Ben to her, his arms wrapped tightly around her body, their lips met again. Hunger, pain, joy, relief, and most of all, love, surged through them as their soulmate bond was restored.

After a lifetime apart, always hoping they would be reunited, the Force fulfilled the hope she had never let go of, bringing Ben back to her. 

Pulling back slightly, Ben’s whole face lit up with his beautiful smile, radiant with love, reminiscent of that other one, in another life, in another galaxy. Only this time, it would not be his last.

Leaning forward, foreheads pressed together, they stared into each other’s eyes, wisdom beyond their current years, full of the knowledge of what they had lost and how now found again shining between them.

“Hi,” whispered Ben. “I’ve missed you.”

Rey smiled. “I found you.”

“I knew you would.”

Quickly kissing him, Rey stood up and took his hand. “Let’s go. We have a lot to catch up on.”

Holding on tightly, the two lovers left the classroom, their bright future laid out before them to discover.

Together.


End file.
